A Bunny, A Unicorn And A Puppy (All Walk In To A Bar)

At 4.30am I woke up screaming.

Paralysed, between awake and asleep, no sound came but my mouth held open as I shivered and curled in a ball on my side.

I was dreaming again.

My mother was there, wearing the face of all my ex-girlfriends saying “you’re a bad, bad boy” before turning away and leaving.

Over and over again.

At one point she pushed me off a cliff.

Sigh…

My psychotherapy friends are going to have a field day with this one.

I’ve recently been stung by the pain of rejection, and now this little thorn had sunk somewhere deep and tender.

In the past I’ve had some control in my dreams, but this morning I chose to surrender and die, over and over again.

Rejected by the people I most wanted to love me.

I don’t recommend it.

Nobody likes being pushed off a cliff by your Mum. Especially when she leaves you there.

But, by grace, I survived.

Later that morning I did an Inner Child Meditation, and before you barf in your gluten-free cornflakes I’ll confess that I’m the first to heap scorn upon these kind of things.

Inner child crystal healing energy meditations make me roll my eyes so bad Mercury turns retrograde.

But I’m always willing to do the work. No matter what.

So, awake now, I fed my inner child all the things I wanted to hear, from all the people that mattered at the time.

The day began to awaken. Sunlight crept in to the room. The scream on my face shifted to a shy smile. My inner child felt seen, felt heard, felt whole again.

Later that morning I went for a swim. It’s my new obsession, and it’s doing my injured back a world of good.

Behind the counter was a small girl called Leanne. She was built like all small girls — thin, lean and wiry like a happy baby giraffe — and when I asked her what she liked most at school she said “I like drawing”.

Can you draw me a horse?

OK

So I pulled out a pen from my bag and said Here — you can use my special pen.

And she drew me the little horsie in the middle of the picture above — which turned out to be a Unicorn (of course).

I said “I’m going to go for a swim now, but if you like you can keep drawing”

OK

So I went for my swim and it was a glorious swim. My body felt light, my mind was calm, and I swam further and more easily than I’d ever swam before.

Coming back to the counter I remembered my drawing, and there it was as you see — a Unicorn, a Rabbit and a Puppy.

I sometimes wish that I was free. That I was totally fixed. Healed. That there was no more inner work to be done.

I sometimes resent the fact that I have uncomfortable emotions. That I get triggered. Feel rejected. Get upset.

But I also realize that for me, there’s nothing more rewarding, nothing more exciting than doing the inner work.

That the results are an open heart, a clear mind, a happy Inner Child.

Wherever you are in your day — awake; asleep; a-dreaming — Ima wish you a Unicorn, a Rabbit, and a Puppy right now, all of your very own.